I’ve been handling a small group for atleast 2 years now. It’s been quite a journey especially since there were many bumps along the road. I’ve made so many mistakes, but thankfully God was able to redeem every mistake I’ve made.
But today I just wanted to talk about something I’ve most certainly encountered more than once in my walk as a counselor/victory group leader/discipler. It’s about being frustrated when the discipling process doesn’t go our way.
Have you had times when the people you were discipling were doing stuff that were obviously against the teachings of the bible and/or is doing stuff that are lacking in wisdom? Cause honestly, I’ve handled a lot of cases like that. Inside of my heart, I wanted to instantly correct and rebuke them. I want to quote scriptures just so they would see that what they were doing wasn’t right. I wanted them to.. see how I saw things.
I’ll be honest, I’ve rebuked the ladies in my small group for their actions in many occasions. I succumbed to the thought that I would be able to change their ideas and perception just by my mere speech and counsel. I reasoned to myself, what I’m doing is for their betterment. I just want them to grow more in their walk with God and on their relationship with others. I just want them to start being more responsible. If only they would listen to me!
I kept repeating those sentences in my head whenever I am frustrated with the people I’m discipling. The more that i invest my time and love to them, the more that they go on paths that I did not imagine them to be in. It frustrates me so much!!!
But reading The Lego Principle by Joey Bonifacio made me realize that all the frustrations that I had were a result of a wrong mindset that I have. I treated and acted on discipleship as a “duty” that I had to perform. It was frustrating because I expect that as I do all the necessary things that was expected of me as a leader, the people I am discipling would automatically do their parts as well. Discipling was work, work, work, sacrifice, sacrifice, and sacrifice for me. Yet even though there was dedication and love, the relationship I had with the women I discipling were lacking. I kept treating my small group as a task that I need to perform, instead of a relationship that I want to celebrate and treasure.
What a beautiful truth set before my eyes~ Discipleship is first and foremost a relationship.. with God and then with man. I can disciple others because God lets me see that people are worth it, that they are a treasure, and valuable to Him.
I don’t need to change the people I’m discipling. That’s not my job. My job is to keep my relationship with God and with them. My security comes from the fact that it will not be me who will grow them, but it will be God who will.
I need to say this over and over again: I cannot change people. Only God can change people.
That’s why when I invite people to go to the services, but they reject the invitation, it’s okay. When I ask them to go to the small group, yet they don’t show up, it’s okay. When I tell them the Gospel but they shut it down, it’s okay. I don’t have to push my belief in them because I know that I did my part in sowing the seeds, and God will be the one to make it grow.
I just need to wait on God, obey, and keep enjoying my relationship with God and others. :)
I leave you with this scripture:
Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who ACTS on behalf of those who WAIT for him. -Isaiah 64:4