Bananasarethebest

I opened, by chance, my folder containing one note entries dated a year ago. I was surprised when I read it. But more than being surprised, I was more blessed. I couldn’t remember the emotions evoked to me at that moment, and I guess the same emotions could not be reproduced anymore. That’s why I was really glad when I saw this! It’s dated October 5, 2011.You should read it first before I move on:

Word for today:

Luke 24:31, 45

Kakamatay lang ni Jesus dito at third day na. He was with them in the road to Emmaus, but they didn’t recognize Him because they were eaten up by their problems . They focused so much in their problems na kahit anjan na si Lord sa harapan nila, they can’t enjoy his presence! How sad! Minsan ganyan ako. Lord, I am sorry and I repent of this. But in luke 31, it said “Then their eyes were opened and they recognized Him..”

It is not because I study scripture or because I’m full of wisdom kaya ako nakaka-alam kay Lord. It is He who opens eyes. He was the one who revealed himself to me and to the apostles that’s why we are able to recognize Him.  Sa verse 45, sabi dun “Then he opened their minds so they could understand the scriptures” GRABEEEE. Si Lord talaga ang dahilan kung bakit may alam ako sa scriptures! Lord, I pray that your word may be revealed to me and that it may be planted deep into my heart. I pray, Lord, give me my daily bread of you. I thank you because you continually give me these things because of your love. Thank you!  Thank you for your love that enables me to walk in this life free and hopeful, complete and not lacking in anything. Thank you Lord, for the wisdom that you are giving me. I do not doubt it Lord, your grace supplies me with unlimited wisdom. <3 Thank you Lord! :) 

Wow. I could feel the joy and enthusiasm that I once felt when I read that scripture! I feel nga na super relevant niya saakin, kasi as of the moment, I have a lot of things to do. When you’re busy and focused on your work, you can’t let your emotions get a hold of you. Kaya nga problema ko yan, busy na nga ako, emotional pa! Kalurks!

Kaya imagine, how cluttered my mind and my heart is! Oh, how more cluttered are the pieces inside of me yearning for love, sustenance, consistency, and peace! But how should I manage to go back to God if I have an urgent paper that would spell a lot of trouble if not finished? If every moment, another paper and exam pops, how am I supposed to go about finding peace?

But then, it hit me. A painful rock staggered through my brain and exposed those intentions that I myself do not know about. 

I’ve put my academics before God. Instead of seeing too much academic load as the distraction that hinders me from enjoying my relationship with God, I saw it the other way around. It is painful to admit, but in my innermost being I have categorized Him as the distraction from my academics. 

This, my friends, is idolatry at its best. Idols in this present time don’t come in the form of wooden dolls and clay statues anymore. It’s in the form of things that we consider as greater than the One true God. 

How pathetic of me! I know ‘pathetic’ is too strong of a word to be used, but how could I not describe myself as such before I realized all these? Could my academics save me from the eternal fires of hell? Would it be able to give me true and lasting peace, joy, and love? Will it ever die for me, because it wants me to be reconciled to itself?

No, no, and no!

There is no other god that would die for me just so that I can be reconciled to itself. How I wish my grades are reconciled with me! But grades are just grades. At the end of the day, it’s just an imperfect evaluation of one’s knowledge and hard-work.

But when everything has been said and done, when everything crumbles and returns to dust, Jesus remains. His love for you and me remains. 

This truth returns me in perspective. Everything is arbitrary with respect to Him. And I am so thankful that even though my eyes were once fixed on things that are temporary, He, in His great patience and mercy, focused my eyes on that of which is eternal. 

And so, today, I repent of this things and consciously choose Him before all things. 

“For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels—everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.” -Colossians 1:17 The MSG