Bananasarethebest

While reading this post, you might as well listen to this song I’m listening to.

I’m way too romantic for my age. Sometimes I wonder why I’m so romantic yet at the same time have so high expectations on love. Come to think of it, I’m a purist in love and life. 

Purist, yet romantic. Sigh. 

As you all don’t know, I’m single on purpose(or circumstance, it doesn’t matter). It stings to be single when you are surrounded by an environment that both promotes love and unfaithfulness. Watching movies moves me in an emotional twirl(mababaw luha ko). Especially when I witness true to life movies wherein the hero and heroine has to be separated for a very long time, yet in the end still find their paths to be intertwined with each other. 

Honestly, I want that to happen in my life. Or so I secretly wish. I just want all the hurts and suffering I have been through for love to be justified. Like, it was for a reason for me to learn and to be strong and ready for my most awaited time with him. I want him to know that I have walked this life waiting for him, and that I have looked forward to that day that he will be with me. That my eagerness surpassed all loneliness and anxiety. I want to look at his eyes, feel the comfort of his warmth. Just to live life with him.

But right now, I’m too hurt and too bruised. I’ve had too much experience on love. I’ve been calloused, and sometimes I wish I didn’t have all those memories to go with me. I know too much and I’m too cautious. I don’t want to get hurt anymore! So I ask, will I still have a prince with me by the end?

Yet I am reminded, by the end, I DO HAVE A PRINCE WAITING FOR ME! And he loves me with an everlasting love. He has never left me for someone else, and he loved me even on times that I was unfaithful to him. At the end, he loves me, and I am his. Most importantly, it will be him who has justified me! He justified everything about me, and he did it for me because he loves me. Everything in my past will be healed, and nothing will matter except him. He is worthy of it all.

This is the only comfort I have, that at the end of the day, I am His. Yet more strikingly, He is also mine. There, I have completeness. And today I dare say, I am complete in Him.

How can you give your heart to someone, if you have already lost it to someone else?

Or, how can you give your heart to someone, if most of it is just crumbs left by someone else?

I’m a bit confused and frustrated with so many people of my age(or even some of my seniors). The reason? Kasi they earnestly and hopefully(and sometimes desperately) try to find girfriends/boyfriends with the wrong heart. Aren’t they affected by the fact that when they pair up with someone with a broken/lost heart, they inflict most of the pain unto their partners? In that kind of relationship, they drain out most of the heart of their partners. Yikes.

But the worst part of it is that almost all of those kinds of relationships don’t last, and when they do separate they leave each other more hurt and lonely(not to mention, friendless!) 

Anyways, inglesera na pala ako noh? hahaha. :)