Everyday with you Lord, is sweeter than day before! (Listen at the song here)
It’s so amazing, and wonderful. Remember how emo and reflective I am of my situations the past few days? Well, I’ve been pulled out of that black hole of seemingly endless place of darkness and despair. :) yey!
I don’t really know how and when it all started, but all I know is that I prayed to God about my situation, almost everyday before I sleep. I would cry endlessly and pray for the hurt to be gone. Everyday, after praying, I would weep myself back to sleep. It wasn’t an easy season for me, and I thought I would never overcome. But during this season I learned, that it is not by my strength that I can move on with life and have joy. Moving on can only be achieved when you acknowledge your weakness and inability to do it to God, and when you depend on the strength that He gives you to turn away from the things that are not from Him(i.e. doubts about future, shame from your mistakes, feeling of condemnation, etc.)
I also learned that moving on takes determination. You have to be determined to look at Jesus and not on what slimy pit has entrapped you. Whatever quicksand/slimy pit/black hole is out there pulling you, Jesus is faster and stronger than that and He can instantly pull you through it. I testify that it is true.
Especially when I realized that there is something missing in my ‘pag-amin’. I realized that I was praying to God about taking all my hurt and pain away, but then again, I still have not forgiven truly the people that caused me this troubles that I am experiencing. God.. revealed to me what’s keeping me from enjoying the life that He has purchased for me. I didn’t have to ‘try harder’ for me to realize that, but it was only because God chose to reveal it to me. God can make things happen, even the ones the I thought would not ever happen.
So now, I stand, joyful and relieved that God has pulled me out of that season already. Although the season to experience the slimy black hole is finished, I still have some bruises and wounds that I need to be healed with. But it’s nothing! haha, compared to the pain I had before, I’m definitely thankful that I only have these few ones remaining in my life. Rejoice! :D
So, I end with this word, that truly encompasses all the experiences that I had this past season. :) Thank you Lord, you are faithful. :)
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory. (NLT)
'and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.' (NIV)